Ouch. I start January 2007 at 160 pounds. Yes, we lost a year in there. I have no record of what happened. I know that in November 2006, Dan's dad died. I kept no records of measurements or weight. I had them one place online, but one day in disgust with myself I deleted the information. At one point in my 140's bounce around I had been as low as 140! I have never worked so hard as when his parents moved in. Keeping Dad from escaping in the middle of the night. I was preparing good, healthy meals. Homeschooling. I suffered. I let me suffer. Somehow, for some reason I was embarrassed to exercise when they were around, so I didn't.
In January 2007 we decided we would really like another baby. Greg was almost 4 and dad had passed, we felt we really could do this now. I got pregnant in January,and lost the baby. We got pregnant again in March, and again lost the baby. Maybe God really wasn't calling us to have another baby.
In May, we were blessed again. This time, the baby stuck!! In July 2007 I was 9 weeks pregnant and 166.5 or 160 on my old scale as my notes say. At this point I should add in that remember back when I said my doctor's scale was always 7 pounds heavier? Well, it was accurate. So back in the beginning, when I was 206- I was really 213. The old scale- its rusty, but I loved it so long. Here it is 2011 and I still have it under my sink- and yes, from time to time I do still pull it out and step on it just for grins and giggles.
So fairly early in Stella's pregnancy I had to stop exercising. After 5 previous C-sections, my uterus is very thin and exercise would cause contractions and could cause uterine rupture- which could result in me & the baby dying. I sat back and watched my weight balloon. 166, 174, 176,183, and I know I topped at 190 again, but I stopped keeping track, it was too hard to watch my hard work go away.
I tried to comfort myself I had done it before, I could do it again. And I would. And I am.
December 2007 Stella was born at 34 weeks(due to my super thin uterus) and that takes us to the next leg of the journey. Trying to lose weight while breastfeeding and caring for a colicky baby. My recovery was very, very slow. There were complications and I was on bed rest after she was born for 6 more weeks!
Then I had lost a lot of strength and muscle mass and just getting through everyday took all I could manage. I fell back into medicating myself with food and finding excuses not to exercise. My cute size 10 clothes were packed away and I wondered if I would ever wear them again?
I can do this and having Stella here, alive with us is worth it all.
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